If I Was Strong Enough, This Is What I'd Say

If I was strong enough

And knew I couldn’t be swayed

By his charm and charisma

This is what I’d say

I’d tell him that it hurts

To always be in last place

It’s damaging and painful

To have to hide my face

I’d tell him as much as it hurts me

It will hurt others even more

If - when - our secret is found out

It will rock them to their core

I’d tell him I understand he’s confused

That I should have walked away

My heart shouldn’t have led me

I should have left on that fateful day

I’d tell him how much I don’t get it

How much I don’t comprehend

Why he still keeps me locked out

From his secrets and demons within

I’d ask him to be the strong one

To cut me out of his life

To be the bigger person

To be faithful to his wife

I’d tell him he knows my faults

My weaknesses and strengths

That thinking I'm abandoning him

Is nowhere near the truth

I’d tell him that I want to be

The one that he would choose

To live his life out with

To hear him say “I pick you”

I’d tell him that I love him

With a passion I never knew

That he has my life in his hands

And my heart and soul too.